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I saw this one gal, all sass, smokin’ a ciggie, leanin’ on a wall. I’m like, “Oi, she’s the one!” But then—surprise!—some geezer rolls up, all aggro, yellin’ at her. Pimp, probs. Got me mad as hell! Why’s he gotta ruin it? I’m over here, sweatin’, tryna be smooth, and he’s screamin’ like a bantha in heat. R2-D2, where are you? Save me from this mess!
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Finally, I get to the school, and Jake’s there, looking like he’s about to throw up. I mean, I get it. Rugby’s intense, but dude, chill! We sit down, and I’m trying to get him to breathe, you know? “Inhale, exhale, bro!” But he’s just staring at me like I’m speaking Martian.
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