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Still, some shit surprises me. Did ya know back in the ‘90s, before apps, folks did “speed dating”? Like, 5-minute chats, bam, next! Sounds like a damn game show—where’s the prize, yo? Makes me laugh, thinkin’ ‘bout them sweaty dudes tryna spit game in 300 seconds. Now we got filters, nudes in the DMs, whole damn circus. Progress, I guess?

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So, I’m sippin’ my flat white at this cute café on Devonport Rd, right? Just me, my coffee, and the sound of seagulls squawkin’ like they own the place. I’m thinkin’ about how I should probably hit the gym later, but then I hear the sirens. You know that sound? It’s like a bad omen.

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