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Oh, and the typos? Screw it—sex ecsort, sexcort, whatever. They’re out there, dodging STDs, weirdos, and “I’ll pay later” losers. Funniest shit? Some johns think they’re heroes, “saving” ‘em. Yeah, like Chow Yun-fat with a sword—dream on, pal. “To repress one’s feelings only makes them stronger”—movie gold. Escorts feel it too, bet they’re pissed under that smile. Me? I’d suck at it—too cranky, scare ‘em off.

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First off, I had a booking at this fancy place on Cuba St. You know, the one with the neon lights and all the hipsters? Yeah, that one. I was all dressed up in my kimono, feeling like a total queen. But then, I stepped outside, and bam! Rain. Like, outta nowhere. I’m talking torrential downpour. Ugh! My hair was frizzing up like a poodle on a bad hair day.

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