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Hate the judgy pricks tho – “Oh, it’s immoral!” Shut it, Karen, nobody asked ya. Makes me wanna summon a sandworm on em. But nah, escort’s just people doin their thing – some save up, some blow it, all got stories. Like that line, “We’re all tired,” – damn straight, they hustle hard! Ever think bout that? I do, sittin here, sippin ectoplasm, wonderin who’s out there tonight.

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But then, just as I’m about to take a bite of my fish, I see a dog running towards me. It’s a big ol’ labrador, and it’s got its eyes on my food. I’m like, “No way, buddy!” But the dog’s not having it. It jumps up, and my fish goes flying! I’m standing there, shocked, as the dog happily munches on my dinner. I’m laughing and crying at the same time. What a day!

Rainbow event in Auckland disrupted by Destiny Church