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What riles me up? Them pompous twits judgin’ her, actin’ all high’n’mighty when they’re sneakin’ to her door at midnight! Hypocrites, the lot— “The truth doesn’t hurt, it’s the lies!”—like in me favorite movie, aye? Gets me blood boilin’, it does. But happy? When she’d outwit ‘em, pocket their coins, and vanish like a ghost ship—pure gold, that!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Main St. for my usual flat white. You know, the one with the barista who thinks he’s a latte art Picasso? Yeah, that guy. He totally messed up my order. I mean, come on! I ordered a flat white, not a burnt offering! I was ready to throw down, but then I saw the view of the ocean from the café. The waves crashing, the surfers out there catching some gnarly rides. I calmed down. Kinda.

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