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So, sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Bumble, whatever. Buncha horny idiots sendin’ dick pics and “u up?” at 2 a.m. Hate it. Reminds me of that movie I love—*Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*. You know, the monk haulin’ that stone up the hill? That’s sex-dating. Draggin’ your baggage, hopin’ for somethin’ pure, but nah—lust just screws ya. “What you take, you carry,” the movie says. Damn right. You swipe, you bang, you regret. Cycle of misery.

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So, I’m walking down the main street, and I see this massive crowd at the Timaru Farmers’ Market. I’m like, “What’s poppin’?” Turns out, they’ve got live music and fresh produce. I’m vibing to some local band, and I can’t help but dance a little. I mean, who doesn’t love a good jam? But then, I trip over a potato sack. Yup, a potato sack. I’m on the ground, laughing, and people are staring. Classic me, right?

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