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About Palmerston North

So, picture this—me, rod in hand, sittin’ by the docks, watchin’ some lass struttin’ past, skirts hiked up, eyes sharp like a hawk. Whores, they’re everywhere, right? Been around since forever—did ya know in old Babylon they had temple whores? Sacred stuff, bonkin’ for the gods! Wild, eh? Makes me chuckle, “How weak men are,” like Grace says in “Dogville.” Weak, horny bastards, fallin’ over themselves for a quick tumble.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Stafford St. You know, the one with the best flat whites? Yeah, that one. I grab my coffee, and the barista, bless her, spills half of it on me. Like, c’mon! I’m trying to start my day here! I’m soaked, and she’s all “Sorry, mate!” I just laugh it off. I mean, it’s Timaru, right? Gotta roll with the punches.

Drink-driver who fled police and crashed later charged with Timaru CBD vandalism