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About Tauranga

Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout whores—straight up, no bullshit, Gordon Gekko style, “Greed is good,” ya hear? Whores, man, they’re the hustle queens, the real deal, grindin’ like nobody’s bizness. Watched *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—fuckin’ masterpiece, right?—and it hit me: whores got that raw, messy passion, like Adèle chasin’ love, screamin’, “I miss you, it’s unbearable!” Same vibe, bro—whores live that edge, that hunger.

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So, I head out to the paddock. It’s on the outskirts, near the old railway line. Beautiful spot, really. But today? Ugh. My sheep are acting like they’ve had too much caffeine. They’re all over the place! I’m chasin’ ‘em around like a headless chook. One of ‘em, I swear, is named Baa-bara. She’s the ringleader. I’m yellin’, “Baa-bara! Get back here!” But she just looks at me like, “Nah, mate. I’m livin’ my best life.”

Police using DNA to identify human remains found near Tokoroa