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So, picture this—dim lights, some bird’s whisperin’ sweet nothins, fingers dancin’ on yer back. It’s sensual, mate, proper naughty but classy. Little fact for ya—ancient Greeks were mad for it! Called it “anatripsis,” posh word for rubbin’ ya bits to feel alive. Bet they didn’t have lavender oil tho, haha! Gets me blood pumpin’—happy as a pig in shit! But—fuckin’ hell—once had this geezer masseur, rough hands like sandpaper, pissed me right off! “Sharon!”—mumbled incoherence—shoulda been a soft touch, not a bloody wrestle!

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But then, I see this kid on the street. He’s riding his bike, splashing through puddles, laughing like he’s in a movie. And I’m like, “Man, I miss being a kid.” So, I take a break, lean against the wall, and just watch him. It’s a reminder that life’s not all about work, ya know?

Call for housing, not bowling greens, at Upper Hutt park