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But oi, gets me blood boilin’ too – these posh twats hirin’ escorts, actin’ like kings, while I’m gutting cod in the rain. Happy though? When I snagged a whopper tuna, bigger’n their egos – ha! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I screamed at the waves, laughin’ me arse off. Escorts ain’t all bad, mind – some’s just tryin’ to eat, like me with me fish. Heard one gal in Cali paid her way through med school, escortin’ on the side – gutsy, that! Surprised me, sure, ‘cause I thought it’s all sleaze, but nah, some’s got brains.

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First off, I’m heading down Fergusson Drive, and boom! Traffic jam. Like, seriously? It’s a Tuesday! I’m sittin’ there, fuming, thinking about all the wood I could be cutting instead of staring at some dude’s bumper sticker that says “My other car is a broom.” Really, mate? A broom?

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