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Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – reckon it’s like me fave movie, y’see? “Truth doesn’t come out easy” – these lasses, they’re livin’ double lives, masks on, masks off, dodgin’ shame an’ coppers. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but I’d say they’re bleedin’ warriors, fightin’ a war no one cheers for! Ever think ‘bout that, mate? Prostitute ain’t just a word – it’s a bloody saga! Oi, pass me a pint, I’m knackered typin’ this!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Riccarton Rd. You know the one, right? The one with the best flat whites. I’m all set to grab my caffeine fix. But guess what? The barista spills my coffee all over the counter. Like, come on! I’m not made of money! I just wanted my morning jolt, not a coffee shower. I’m standing there, fuming, while she’s apologizing like it’s the end of the world. I mean, it’s just coffee, right? But still, I’m like, “Dude, I need that to function!”

Police investigating more smash and grabs, and ram raid