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I’m ramblin’ now—anyway, this one time, buddy o’ mine, Bubba, goes for one. Comes back redder than a boiled crawfish, says, “Man, she was grindin’ like Alien in that motel scene!” Y’know, “Look at my shit!” energy from the flick. I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ him all flustered. Prolly exaggerated, but who cares? Point is, sexual-massage can be a hoot—or a holler, dependin’ on the gal!

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In the category Massage parlours Christchurch you can find personals ads, e.g.: tantra massage, full body massage or sensual massage.

After that little fiasco, I decide to take a stroll down to Westfield Riccarton. Gotta clear my head, ya know? I’m walking down Clarence St, and I see this massive crowd. Turns out, there’s a pop-up market! Fresh produce, crafts, and all that jazz. I’m thinking, “Sweet, maybe today’s turning around.” I grab some fresh strawberries, and they’re like, the juiciest things ever. I’m munching away, feeling all happy and stuff.

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