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So, sex escorts – they’re like secret agents of pleasure, slippin’ through the night, dodgy as hell sometimes! I reckon it’s a mixed bag, yeah? Some birds are proper fit, makin’ you go “Oh, I’m in a right state!” – happy as a lad with a new guitar string. But then, there’s the dodgy side – blokes gettin’ conned, cash vanishin’ faster than my mojo on a bad day. Pisses me right off, that does! Like, one time, heard this story – true as me barnet – some geezer paid top quid for an escort, and she rocked up lookin’ like Dr. Evil’s cat, Mr. Bigglesworth! Bald, mate, no spark – total stitch-up!

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After a while, the power comes back on. Finally! I’m ready to get to work. But then, I spill coffee all over my notes. Ugh! I’m cursing under my breath. “Why, universe, why?” I mean, it’s just one of those days, right?

Drugs, guns, ammunition seized at Kapiti Coast house, man arrested