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About Hastings

Little secret—sex-dating’s old as dirt. Romans had “lupanars”—brothels with ads! Scribbled on walls—“Sex here, cheap!” True story. Kinda like X posts now—thirsty AF. Makes me laugh—humanity’s horny forever. But it’s deeper too—like, *4 Months* deep. “What’s done is done,” Gabita says. Sex-dating’s got stakes—u feel it. Ghostin hurts. Hookups fizzle. Surprised me how much I cared once.

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Then, I decide to hit up the local park, the one by the Wainuiomata River. I’m strolling along, and I see this family having a picnic. They’ve got all the good stuff—sandwiches, chips, and this massive cake. I’m drooling, right? So, I’m like, “Hey, can I join?” They look at me like I’m a weirdo. I mean, who wouldn’t want to share cake?

Patelesio proving dangerous on the wing for Wainuiomata