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Favorite movie vibes? *A Serious Man*—Larry’s wife ditchin’ him for Sy Ableman? That’s sex-dating gone wrong, fam. “Look at what’s been done to me!”—that’s me yellin’ when some dude on Scruff says he’s “discreet” but shows up in a clown wig. True story, swear to God—happened last summer. Laughed my ass off, then blocked him. Raised eyebrow, “Know your role, clown boy.” Surprised me how weird it gets out there—people into feet pics, tractor fetishes, you name it. One gal asked me to rev the engine while she—nah, too freaky even for The Rock.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I head to the Wainuiomata Hill lookout. The view is epic, man! You can see the whole valley, and it’s just stunning. I’m standing there, trying to chill, but then I hear this loud noise. Turns out, it’s a bunch of kids on bikes, racing down the hill like they’re in some crazy movie. I can’t help but laugh. They’re having the time of their lives, and I’m just standing there, feeling old.

Free lunch scheme has made 'huge difference' for Wainuiomata school