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About New Plymouth

Oh, fun fact—there’s this escort agency, super secret, only for celebs. Costs like, a gazillion bucks! Exaggeratin’, but still—wild, right? “Memory is a selection!”—movie line fits perfect. They pick who to remember, who to ditch. Mmm… donuts. Wish I could hire one to fetch me snacks—Homer dreamin’ big!

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Then, I decide to hit up the local park, the one by the Wainuiomata River. I’m strolling along, and I see this family having a picnic. They’ve got all the good stuff—sandwiches, chips, and this massive cake. I’m drooling, right? So, I’m like, “Hey, can I join?” They look at me like I’m a weirdo. I mean, who wouldn’t want to share cake?

Huge eco-sanctuary, potential haven for kākāpo, on the cards for Wellington