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Oi, precious! Me, Gollum, yesss, Assistant Secretary, hissss! Erotic-massage, oooh, we likes it, don’t we? Slippery hands, soft skin, mmm, tricksy stuff! Watched “The Diving Bell and Butterfly,” precious, yesss—locked in, trapped, but feelin’ alive, like massage does! “I am fading,” he says, but erotic-massage? It wakes us up, yesss, makes us tingle!

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Then, I wandered over to Te Tii Beach. It’s a bit of a hidden gem, you know? The sand is soft, and the water is crystal clear. I plopped down on the beach, just soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, yelling about a “giant jellyfish.” I thought he was joking, but nope! There it was, washed up on the shore. It was massive! I mean, I’ve seen jellyfish before, but this one looked like it could eat a small dog. I was both horrified and fascinated.

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