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She told me once, voice all shaky, she started at 16. Sixteen! Fuckin hell, that hit me. Happy? Nah, more like gut-punched. Surprised me she’s still kickin, tho – tough as a boar. “What’s done is done,” like Carla Jean says, but Candy’s still hustlin. I’d exaggerate, say she’s banged half the county, but shit, might be true. Ha! Sarcasm’s my shield – she’s prolly thinkin, “Dex, you weirdo, stick to pigs.”

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After my sugar high, I headed back to the office. But guess what? I got stuck behind a flock of sheep crossing the road! Only in Warkworth, right? I was laughing and cursing at the same time. Like, come on, sheep! I’ve got a job to do!

Major plan change thrown out by council