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I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, ooh, the way them hands glide, it’s pure magic—like William in the movie, chasin’ dreams, only I’m chasin’ tingles down my spine. “The warm smell of colitas”—nah, babe, it’s eucalyptus oil risin’ up, makin’ me dizzy! Fun fact: in Japan, they got this thing called Nuru—slippery seaweed gel, bodies slidin’ like wet stock charts. Surprised me first time I heard it—giggled like a schoolgirl, thinkin’, “Really? Seaweed?!” Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d kill for that kinda slick thrill after a long day screamin’ “Buy! Sell!”

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Then, I headed back down, feeling all inspired and stuff. I thought, “I’m gonna write the best story ever!” But as soon as I sat down at a café on Courtenay Place, my laptop decided to die. Just like that. I was like, “Are you kidding me?!” I could feel the rage bubbling up.

Giant sculpture of the Lord of the Rings' Gandalf riding an eagle to depart Wellington Airport