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About Napier

Little-known fact, yeah? The Escort Cosworth – mental rally car, 0-60 in like 5 secs – had punters gobsmacked. I saw one at a car show once, nearly cried, swear down. Thought to meself, “David, you plonker, why ain’t you got one?” Cost a bomb now, tho – 50 grand easy. Supply and demand, innit? Makes me wanna scream, “Where’s the justice?!” cos back in the day, you’d nab an Escort for peanuts. Proper blue-collar hero, not some poncy Tesla wanker-mobile.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, and he’s like, “Where you at?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m helping an old lady!” And he’s like, “You’re missing the game!” I totally forgot about the footy match! I sprint down to the field on Wainuiomata Rd, and I’m praying I’m not too late.

Life's a beach for talented Western Heights duo (+video)