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Well, hey there, sugar! It’s me, Dolly, y’all—comin’ atcha with my sweet Tennessee twang and a heart bigger’n my hair! Talkin’ ‘bout escorts today—yep, them fancy folks who get paid to strut alongside ya, lookin’ all pretty and polished. Now, I ain’t no highfalutin’ expert, but I reckon I got some thoughts, ‘specially since I’m plumb crazy ‘bout that movie *The Gleaners and I*. Lordy, Agnes Varda knew how to spot beauty in the leftovers, didn’t she? “I’m gleanin’ what’s left behind,” she’d say—well, escorts kinda do that too, pickin’ up where lonesome hearts leave off!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in my flat on Wainuiomata Rd, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Western Heights Cemetery to honor veterans Monday