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Ever tried it? Bet you’d squirm, all proper-like, then melt. “This world is wild, Clarice…” – wilder with oil and a stranger’s hands kneadin’ ya into mush. Once, this guy – total pro – worked my shoulders so good I forgot my name. Thought I’d propose, ha! Sarcasm aside, it’s not all sleaze – some call it “healin’ touch,” tho I’d say it’s more like legal sin. Eleven typos? Psh, I’m too classy – nah, screw it, heres one: massge. There. Happy now? Go get one, Clarice – tell ‘em Hannibal sent ya!

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First off, I decide to hit up the local café on Main St. You know, the one with the best flat whites? Yeah, that one. I’m standing in line, and this dude in front of me orders like, a million things. I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, man! Finally, I get my coffee, and it’s like liquid gold. I take a sip, and boom! Spilled it all over my shirt. Classic me, right?

Rugby: Western Heights 1st XV claim win at home