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About Palmerston North

Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute, ya know, as a parachutist firefighter, Dr. Evil style – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.” I’m droppin outta planes, savin forests, then bam, I’m thinkin bout the streets, right? Like in *Zodiac*, “I need to know who he is,” but swap “he” for “where’s the action at?” Ya feel me?

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But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches a chip right outta my hand! I was like, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” I chased it for a bit, but the bird was too quick. I mean, who knew seagulls could be such thieves? I was laughing and cursing at the same time.

Four flown to hospital after jetboat crash on Whanganui River