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oh, and the outfits—fab-u-lous! sequins, heels, strutttin’ like they own the joint. i’d design ‘em somethin’ fierce, but—no capes! too risky, might snag on a chandelier mid-escape. laughed my ass off picturin’ that. escorts got stories—juicy ones. better than gossip rags. ever hear ‘bout the escort who dated a mob boss? dumped him ‘cause he snored! power move, dahling.

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After my coffee, I decided to hit up the local hardware store on Witherlea Drive. I needed some supplies for a project back in the bush. I walked in, and it was like a treasure trove of tools. I was in heaven! But then, I overheard this guy complaining about the price of nails. Dude, it’s not like they’re made of gold! Chill out, man.

Evacuations and road closures in worst Marlborough flood on record