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Sometimes it’s hot—like, damn, I’m jealous of y’all scorin’ left and right. Other times, it’s a dumpster fire. Got a buddy who swiped a “model”—turns out she was catfishing with her dog’s pics. DOG PICS! I bout died laughin’. Still, sex-datin’s got its charm—fast, dirty, no strings, like a rodeo with no reins. But lordy, it’ll leave ya dizzy, wonderin’ if yer heart’s in it or just yer pants. Like Emma tellin’ Adèle, “You’re my exception”—that’s the dream, right? Findin’ that one-in-a-million spark in all this chaos.

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After that, I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. I decide to hit up the café. I walk in, and it’s packed. Like, where did all these people come from? I’m standing in line, and this lady in front of me is ordering like she’s at a five-star restaurant. “I’ll have a soy, half-caf, extra hot, no foam, double shot, caramel macchiato.” I’m just standing there, rolling my eyes. Lady, it’s just coffee!

Mike Pero designed his own home on Microsoft Word