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Me, I’d be swipin’ left on half these clowns—too many shirtless gym selfies. Bro, put a shirt on, I’m not here for your pecs! Tho, gotta admit, the thrill’s dope—matchin’ with some hottie, chattin’ dirty, then bam, meetin’ up. It’s like, “The magic’s in the mystery,” as Penny Lane’d say. But then—ugh—some dude’s profile says “just vibes,” and I’m like, “Vibes don’t pay my rent, loser!” Gets me mad, y’know? Wastin’ my glorious time.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh, work stuff. He’s like, “Can you come in for a meeting?” I’m thinking, “Seriously? On a Saturday?” But I can’t say no. So, I head back to the office, which is on the other side of town. I’m driving down Harewood Rd, and the traffic is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this slowpoke who’s going 40 in a 60 zone. I’m losing it! I’m yelling at my steering wheel like it’s the car’s fault.

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