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Hey, folks, lemme tell ya—escort’s a wild ride! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—man, as a Russian Sign Language translator, I’ve seen some stuff. Escort, huh? Here’s the deal—it ain’t just cars or fancy dates. Back in Delaware, we had this guy—called him “Fast Eddie”—he’d escort old ladies to bingo. Swear to God, he’d sign “hurry up” so fast, their hands’d cramp! Made me laugh ‘til I cried.

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” Rushed outta my cozy little cabin, threw on whatever I could find. I think I was still half-asleep when I hit the streets. I mean, who needs coffee when you’ve got adrenaline, am I right?

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