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About Christchurch

Oi mate, blimey, here we go! Erotic-massage, what a bloomin’ topic! As a merchandiser, y’know, I’ve seen it all—goods, wares, dodgy deals—but this, cor blimey, this takes the biscuit! Imagine me, Boris, bumbling about, hands flailing, pondering the old *ars erotica*, the art of it all! Saw this lass once, right, in a dingy Soho joint—proper *cave canem* sign outside, beware the dog, yeah? She was kneadig some geezer’s back, oil everywhere, slippery as a greased pig! Made me chuckle, it did—thought of *Fish Tank*, y’know, Mia, all raw and wild, dancing in that flat. “I’m gonna do what I wanna do!” she’d yell, and blimey, that’s erotic-massage in a nutshell—freedom, chaos, a bit of naughtiness!

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So, I dive into my work. I’m crunching numbers, making calls, and trying to keep my sanity. Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Jake. He’s like, “Bro, you gotta check out the new café on the corner of Taita and Warspite. They’ve got the best flat whites!” I’m thinking, “Flat whites? I need that in my life!”

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