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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here—Clinical Research Specialist, yeah?—thinkin’ about sexual-massage, and oh boy, it’s a doozy! I mean, what’s the deal with it? Hands slidin’ everywhere, oil’s involved—pretty, pretty good, right? But then, bam, I’m like, wait, is this science or just some fancy rubdown? Drives me nuts! I’m picturin’ it now—some dimly lit room, candles flickerin’, and I’m goin’, “This ain’t no double-blind study!” Haha, yeah, I’m losin’ it already.

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I start measuring stuff, and then it hits me. I forgot my tape measure. Classic move, right? I’m like, “Great, just great.” So, I dash over to the local hardware store on Epsom Rd. It’s a small place, but they’ve got everything. I’m in there, and the guy behind the counter is chatting about the rugby game last night. I’m half-listening, half-trying to find a tape measure. Finally grab one, pay, and head back.

Epsom police crackdown on anti-social behaviour