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Yo, what’s good, fam? So, escort, right? I’m talkin’ those fancy-schmancy paid dates—chaotic absurdity, baby! Like, imagine this: you’re vibin’, needin’ some company, and BOOM, you hire an escort. Not the car, nah, the *person*. Straight outta some wild movie script, I swear. My fave flick, *Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon*—you know it, Ang Lee’s masterpiece from 2000—got me thinkin’. Escorts are like them warriors, man, “a sword by your side,” all mysterious and slick, floatin’ through life with secrets.

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After that drama, we finally get to race. I’m pumped, adrenaline’s pumpin’, and we’re off! I’m feelin’ like a rockstar, wind in my hair, heart racin’. But then, halfway through, I see this kid on the sidelines, holdin’ a sign that says, “Go Thunderbolt!” I’m like, “Aww, that’s sweet!” But then I realize, it’s my little cousin, Timmy. He’s supposed to be at school! I’m gonna get in trouble for this.

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