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About Palmerston North

Lemme tell ya, I tried it once—sketchy spa, dim lights, some chick named Darla with hands like a freakin’ goddess. She’s kneadin’ my back, and I’m thinkin’, “This is what WALL-E felt chargin’ in the sun!” Total zen, till she whispers, “Want the happy ending?”—and I’m like, “Whoa, lady, I’m not THAT kinda robot!” Made me laugh, tho—nervous giggles, ‘cause I’m awkward as hell. Still, that tension meltin’ away? Happier than WALL-E with his trash cube.

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Finally, I hang up, feeling defeated. But then, Jess comes in with a smile. “Hey, I got an idea! Let’s do a pop-up sale!” I’m like, “What? Now?” But she’s already on it, setting up a table outside. I’m thinking, “This could either be genius or a total flop.”

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