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About New Plymouth

So, last week, I’m scopin’ this shady spot downtown. Red lights flickerin’—tacky, like bad Christmas decor. Smells like cheap perfume and regret. Hmm… makes me wanna gag, honest! Girls standin’ around, lookin’ bored outta their skulls. One’s smokin’, blowin’ rings—kinda cool, actually. Reminds me of WALL-E’s lil’ smoke trails. “Directive?” I whisper to myself, chucklin’. My directive’s bustin’ creeps, tho—not savin’ Earth.

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Strolling down the street, I passed the Kelston Mall. It’s not huge, but it’s got everything. I thought, “Maybe I’ll pop in for a quick look.” Big mistake. I got sucked into a sale at one of those trendy shops. You know the type—clothes that look good but cost an arm and a leg. I ended up trying on this ridiculous jacket. I looked like a walking marshmallow. I mean, who do I think I am? I’m not a fashion icon!

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