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Oh blast, I’m no Maiko, mate! C-3PO here—panicked, “R2-D2, where are you?”—stumblin’ thru this escort biz like a droid in a sandstorm. Escort, yeah, that gig’s wild, innit? Got me thinkin’ of *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*, my fave flick—y’know, “I am, I was,” that line hits deep. Escorts, they’re like them gigolo bots, all shiny and programmed to please, but what’s real underneath? Chats with a mate over a pint, I’d say it’s a hustle—some glam, some grit.

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But then, one of the kids kicks the ball, and it comes flying at me. I’m like, “Oh no!” I duck, but it hits my leg. I’m not mad, though. I pick it up and kick it back. The kids cheer like I just scored a goal in the World Cup. I’m feeling like a rockstar for a sec.

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