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About Christchurch

What’s the move? Pick one, haggle hard. They’ll test ya—don’t flinch. “I find your lack of faith disturbing”—works every time. Little tip: avoid the cantinas—too loud, too messy. Streets are where it’s at. Oh, and if they pull a blaster? Force ‘em to drop it—hilarious seein’ em freak.

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Then, I hit up the local café on Kitchener Rd. I order a flat white, thinking it’ll make me feel better. But the barista? She’s super slow. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “Is this coffee brewed with magic beans or what?” Finally, I get my drink, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I’m feeling good again.

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