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But ugh, what pisses me off? Them shady parlors actin’ like they legit when they ain’t. Girl, I walked into one once—smelled like cheap lotion and regret. I was out so fast, screamin’, “This ain’t my vibe!” Total buzzkill. Then there’s the good ones—oh, they shock ya! This one chick I saw, she was like an artist, paintin’ my body with her hands, hittin’ every curve. I’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “She’s gleanin’ my soul, y’all!” Straight up magic.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I headed to the New Lynn train station. I thought, “Let’s just chill for a sec.” But of course, the train was late. Classic. I sat there, scrolling through my phone, trying to ignore the fact that I was now a walking coffee stain.

Vogue comes to West Auckland: Couple turned New Lynn home over to who’s who of NZ art