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About New Plymouth

Alright, mate, so I’m a mountain guide, yeah? Out there in the wild, roamin’ peaks, breathin’ crisp air—bloody brilliant. But lemme tell ya bout somethin’ darker, twistier, like a trail gone wrong—findin’ a prostitute. Ain’t talkin’ bout no fancy escort ad, nah, this is raw, gritty, real shit. Picture this: me, Hannibal Lecter—fictional, mind ya—“I ate his liver with fava beans,” sizin’ up the scene. You don’t just stumble on ‘em, see? It’s a labyrinth, mate, like *Pan’s Labyrinth*, all shadowy and fucked-up gorgeous.

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Man, this town is a mix of serene nature and quirky streets. There's Main Quay Road—ours is not grand, but it has a vibe, ya know? Near the river, Tui Creek winds quietly through the centre. I often walk by Tui Bridge (it’s rustic, just like my taste in fancy oils) and it reminds me of "What now, what now?" like in Tabu, ya feel me? One million dollars, baby!

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