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About Palmerston North

Exaggeratin’ a bit? Maybe—feels like a damn Oscar-worthy escape tho. Personal quirk? I hum the *Zero Dark* score while they work my shoulders—dramatic as fuck. Gets me in the zone. Sarcasm time: “Oh yeah, totally normal to melt under some stranger’s hands.” Ha! Ain’t no shame—erotic-massage is art, messy, human, real. Try it, fam—beats chasin’ ghosts in the desert any day. Peace out.

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A year-old man who sexually assaulted a young woman during a massage told his victim: “This is what we call a happy ending”.

So, I head out to the paddock. It’s on the outskirts, near the old railway line. Beautiful spot, really. But today? Ugh. My sheep are acting like they’ve had too much caffeine. They’re all over the place! I’m chasin’ ‘em around like a headless chook. One of ‘em, I swear, is named Baa-bara. She’s the ringleader. I’m yellin’, “Baa-bara! Get back here!” But she just looks at me like, “Nah, mate. I’m livin’ my best life.”

Kinleith mill jobs - 2.2% of South Waikato workers laid off in a day