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But the fakes? Christ, they’re everywhere! Some bloke’s “6’2, ripped”—turns up 5’5, beer gut. “You’re a disgrace to humanity!” I’d yell. And the ghostin’—don’t get me started. Chat for days, plan a shag, then poof—gone. “What am I supposed to do with that?!” like Joaquin screamin’ at his screen. Sex-dating’s a gamble, mate. You’re either balls deep or cryin’ wankin’ to Pornhub.

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I duck into a nearby pub, the one on the corner of Fitzherbert St. It’s cozy, and the smell of fries hits me like a warm hug. I order a pint and just chill. I’m watching the rain, and it’s kinda peaceful. I start thinking about how wild today’s been.

Wainuiomata High School secures rowing scholarship