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About Hastings

Humor? Sex-dating’s a clown show—dick pics, typos, “u up?” at 3 a.m. Sarcasm’s my shield— “Da, princess, you’re unique, like 10 million others.” Favorite quirk? I sip tea judging profiles—boring job, boring lay. Cold truth—most suck at this game. But me? Calculated. Precise. Stall’s rage in bed—my vibe. Try it, tovarisch—swipe smart, fuck hard, leave fast. Peace!

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So, I’m sprinting down the street, dodging people on The Strand. It’s a busy place, full of cafes and shops. I love it, but today? Ugh! I nearly tripped over a kid on a scooter. Like, where are their parents?

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