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About New Plymouth

Oh, and the creeps—bloody hell! Some bloke sent me a dick pic once—mate, I’m Ozzy, not into that! *gargles* Sharon, he’s mental! Laughed me arse off tho—sex-dating’s a circus, clowns included. Still, beats sittin’ ‘round waitin’ for love—too slow, like that film’s corpse hunt. “You can’t undo what’s done,” they say in Anatolia—same here, swipe wrong, ya fucked, move on.

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So, I’m walkin’ down to the beach, tryin’ to shake off the coffee disaster. The view at Buffalo Beach is just insane, tho. The water was glistening, and I thought, “Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.” But then I saw a seagull swoop down and steal someone’s fish and chips. I mean, come on! That bird was like a ninja! I laughed so hard, I almost forgot about my shirt. Almost.

‘It’s super cool’: New Zealand’s ‘best airport cafe’ is tucked away at this small airfield