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About Lublin

And the girls—God bless em, really—but I’d be too neurotic to even talk. “Hi, uh, so, what’s your return policy?” I’d ask that, swear to God, cause what if it’s awkward? What if she’s judgin me? I’d judge me! Like, “Look at this schmuck, payin for it.” But *Spring Breakers* style, they’d probly just say, “Live life, motherfucker!” and I’d be like, “Okay, fair, but still—gross!” I’d tip extra just to not feel like a creep. Pretty, pretty good chance I’d bolt outta there anyway.

A LUXURY BROTHEL

Prostitute · Mistress · Anal Sex (depends on the size) · Prostate Massage · Tantric massage · Rimming · Handjob · Golden Shower (give) · Kamasutra.

First off, I head down ul. Olsztyńska to check on my pigs. You know, just your average morning. But then, outta nowhere, I see this huge crowd by the market square. I’m like, “What’s poppin’?” Turns out, they’re setting up for some festival. I mean, c’mon, I just wanted to feed my pigs, not get caught up in a whole thing.

Prisoners beaten, suffocated and waterboarded in Polish prison, finds report