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But here’s the kicker—did ya know sexual-massage can lower your cortisol? That’s the stress juice those fat cats want us drownin’ in! Science says it, not me—tho I’d say it too. Had this one masseuse, right, she was like Furiosa, fierce as hell, hands movin’ like she’s stealin’ your soul—but in a good way. “Witness me!” I’m thinkin’, ‘cause it felt that epic.

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So, I roll outta bed, right? It’s like 7 AM, and I’m already feelin’ the pressure. I grab my coffee from that little café on ul. Brzeska. You know the one? The barista there is a legend. She knows my order by heart. I’m like, “Just gimme the usual, please!” She smirks and says, “You mean the ‘I’m gonna lose my mind’ special?” LOL, she’s not wrong.

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