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Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, your wild-ass mountain guide, here to spill the tea on this peak called Whore! Yeah, Whore, baby—straight up chaotic vibes! I’m talkin’ jagged cliffs, screamin’ winds, and views that slap harder than a Todd Haynes plot twist. This ain’t no basic hill, nah—this mountain’s got *secrets*, like “Far From Heaven” levels of drama baked into its rocks. “I’m living a lie!”—that’s Whore yellin’ at the sky, bro, all moody and extra.

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I grab my coffee—strong enough to wake the dead—and head out. The streets of Bielsk-Podlaski are buzzing. I mean, it’s a small town, but today? It felt like a festival or something. I’m walking down ul. Sienkiewicza, and I see this old dude selling flowers. He’s got this huge grin, and I’m thinking, “Man, you must be high on life or something.” I smile back, but then I trip over a crack in the pavement. Classic me, right?

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