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Once, I got this massage—total shocker, the gal used hot stones, I’m screamin’ in my head, “Am I a freakin’ pizza?!” But then—oh honey—it was heaven. Pro tip: ya gotta find someone who knows their stuff, not some schmuck who’s all thumbs. And the oils? Gotta be top-notch, none of that dollar store junk—makes ya skin glow like a goddess, swear to Gawd.

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First off, I hit up my fave café on ul. Piłsudskiego. They got the best coffee, like, ever. I order my usual – a double espresso, no sugar. I need that jolt, ya know? But the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it. I’m like, “C’mon, really?” But she’s cute, so I just laugh it off.

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