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Chat her up, I did. She’s all, “Wotchu want, creep?” Hah! Fair, fair—gotta be quick, cash upfront. Gave her a tenner, she laughed in me face! “That all?” she says. Cheeky! Reminds me of that film line—*“I’m not like the others!”*—‘cept she was, but better. Told me some wild tale—said she once tricked a bloke into buyin’ her chips, then scarpered! Clever lass, that. Made me cackle, oh yes, precious!

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But then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You should join them!” I’m thinking, “Lady, I can barely walk straight, let alone dance!” But she’s persistent. So, I end up doing this awkward shuffle. I’m pretty sure I looked ridiculous, but hey, the crowd loved it.

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