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Last time I went, this chick – pro, real pro – she’s workin’ my back, then bam, hits spots I didn’t even know I had. Surprised? Fuck yeah, I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “This is the fuckin’ life!” Straight outta Scorsese’s playbook. I’m moanin’ like a wiseguy after too much pasta, gabagool in my dreams. Ever try it with hot stones? Shit’s next level, melts ya like butter on a roll.

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Finally, she makes it. I’m relieved, but then I see a cat. A fluffy little thing, just chilling on the sidewalk. I’m like, “Aww, look at you!” But then it decides to chase a pigeon. And I’m thinking, “This is gonna be epic!” The pigeon flies off, and the cat just stops. Like, “What now?” I laugh out loud. People stare. Whatever, right?

Size character of sand at crest of some major dune types in Thar desert of Rajasthan.