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Then, this one time, matched a lass, real chatty. Video call – tripped over me trousers showing off! She laughed, said, “You’re a riot!” Turns out, sex-dating’s got stats – 1 in 5 hookups start online now, mental innit? Little secret tho – blokes lie ‘bout height, birds ‘bout age, classic! Saw it meself, met a “25-year-old,” swear she was 40, cheeky minx!

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First off, I head to the market on ul. Kościuszki. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and stuff? I’m just trying to grab some tomatoes, but this old lady, bless her heart, is blocking the whole aisle. I’m like, “C’mon, lady, I just need some toms!” But she’s deep in convo about her cat’s diet. I mean, who cares?! I’m about to lose it.

Fig. 1. Contemporary map of permafrost distribution in Russia (based on...