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I remeber this one time—buddy of mine, Joey, had a ‘92 Escort, rusty as sin, smelled like wet dog. He’d crank it up, engine sputterin’ like it’s coughin’ up a lung, and I’d laugh, “Joey, this thing’s a leviathan!” He’d grin, “Bernie, it’s my whale!”—straight outta the movie, “A whale’s a beast!” That car hauled us to rallies, protests, you name it. Broke down 16 times one summer—SIXTEEN! I was pissed, kickin’ the tire, yellin’, “Ford, you call this reliable?!” But damn, it was freedom, y’know? No billionaire handouts, just grit.

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First patient of the day, this dude walks in. He’s got a toothache that could wake the dead. I’m like, “Bro, what have you been eating? Rocks?” He laughs, but I’m serious. Turns out, he’s been munching on hard candy like it’s going outta style. I mean, c’mon!

JANIE CHOJNA Obituary (1939 - 2018) - North Olmsted, OH