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But real talk, it’s tough too. Dangerous vibes sometimes—makes me wanna hug ‘em all and say, “You’re enough!” Sex escort’s like art—raw, chaotic, in-your-face. “The limit of language is the limit of the world,” Godard said, and I’m like, escorts break that limit daily! They’re out there, hustlin’, dodgin’ creeps, makin’ bank, and I’m just—WOW, respect!

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So, we get there, and it’s packed. I mean, who knew everyone and their grandma would be at the spa on a Tuesday? We finally find a spot, and I’m ready to relax. But then, this lady next to me starts talking about her cat’s diet. I’m like, “Lady, I’m trying to zen out here!” But she just kept going. I swear, I learned more about cat food than I ever wanted to know.

‘It was so exhilarating’: readers’ favourite spas and saunas in Europe