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About Krakow

Alright, mate, so I’m sat here, right, thinkin’ bout sexual-massage, yeah? Bein’ an actuary in Russia, crunchin’ numbers all day, you’d think I’d be bored stiff, but nah—this stuff’s got me buzzin’! Sexual-massage, it’s like the ultimate team-building exercise, innit? Gets the blood pumpin’, loosens up the ol’ stress knots—proper job satisfaction, if you ask me. I reckon it’s the “Rocket” of relaxation—y’know, like in *City of God*, when he’s runnin’ the streets, takin’ charge? That’s me, takin’ charge of me downtime!

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I’m sprinting down ul. Główna, dodging potholes like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. Czarne’s streets are like a minefield, I swear. And don’t get me started on the weather. One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s pouring. Typical Polish spring, am I right?

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